Retirement Teacher Humor

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“There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit…retire!” — Groucho Marx

“My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran.”

“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.”

“How do I set a laser printer to stun?”

“I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.”

“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch” – R C Sherriff

“Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done.”

“Home is where you can say anything you like ’cause nobody listens to you anyway.”

“Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.”

“I’ve discovered that I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.”

“I don’t do drugs anymore ’cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.”

By Jolene Wise

http://www.ACEtheCSET.com

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